Have you ever said something in anger and later wished you hadn't? I have, and I regret when my words hurt someone, even if I didn't mean to. Those moments led me to explore emotional intelligence, and the book Search Inside Yourself gave me a new perspective. Emotions are signals, not who you are. Since then, I've been learning to pause, observe my feelings, and respond more mindfully. And today, I'd like to share that journey, not because I'm perfect, but because I'm learning how to manage my emotions to live better every day. What is emotional intelligence? According to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, it's the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions, and to empathize with and influence the emotions of others. The good news? It's not a talent you must be born with. It's a skill, and anyone can practice it. Dr. Daniel Siegel describes our brain like a house with two floors. The lower floor handles survival instincts, fast reactions, and intense emotions like anger or fear. The upper floor is for thinking. It helps us analyze, decide, and act with awareness. When we're calm, both floors work together well. But when emotions rise too strongly, the lower brain shuts the door to the upper brain, and we react instinctively, without thinking. Emotional intelligence reconnects the two floors. When we pause, take deep breaths, and name our emotion, we bring the upper brain back online. There were many times when I spoke up in meetings, trying to contribute ideas, but my manager didn't seem to listen or acknowledge what I said. It left me feeling frustrated and disappointed, like my voice didn't matter. I didn't react in the moment. I smiled and nodded politely, but I left the meeting with a glass of negative emotions, full to the brim. The first time, I threw that glass, not at the person who hurt me, but at my husband. He simply asked, how was your day? But I snapped back, spoke harshly, with irritation in my voice. Everything he did annoyed me in that moment. He didn't fight back, he just looked at me. First surprised, then sad, and then he stayed silent. And that silence felt heavier than words. Later, I felt so sorry. I said, I didn't mean it. But words, once spoken, can't be taken back. Even though I didn't intend to hurt, I did. The second time, I thought I was calmer. I didn't lash out. But in truth, I was just freezing my feelings. I kept everything inside. I didn't tell anyone. I started avoiding my boss. I didn't want to talk anymore. I didn't hurt anyone else, but I was quietly hurting myself. Until recently, and yet another meeting, I shared my ideas again, and again received no response. Frustration rose. But this time, I remembered a lesson from Search Inside Yourself. The sacred pause. I stopped. I named my feeling. I am angry. I took three deep breaths, and I asked myself, what am I really feeling? Is there a reason my manager didn't respond? Is there a better way I can respond? So this time, instead of reacting or staying silent, I chose a different response. After the meeting, I gently asked my manager, I'm not sure if there's something wrong with my idea, but I'd really love to learn how to improve for next time. She looked a bit surprised. It was the first time I had ever spoken to her like this, calmly and openly. She paused for a moment, and then gently shared the reason. It turned out she was under pressure from upper management at the time, and had to prioritize certain directions that had already been agreed upon. New ideas, even good ones, didn't fit the current plan, so she couldn't respond to them right away. I listened, and in that moment I realized the negative feelings I'd been carrying were rooted in misunderstanding. That short conversation not only helped me understand my boss better, but also helped me release my emotions and reconnect with myself. If I had chosen silence that day, or responded with anger, I might still be holding resentment. But one pause, one breath, one mindful choice, changed everything. That's when I truly felt the power of emotional intelligence. It didn't just stop me from hurting others, it helped me feel clearer, lighter, and more at peace inside. So, why is emotional intelligence important for the future? In the future, machines can do many jobs, but only people can understand feelings and care for each other. Emotional intelligence helps us work well under stress, understand and connect with others, solve problems with calm and care, lead with empathy, and most important, keep peace inside, even when life outside is difficult. Emotional intelligence does not make you better than others. It helps you stay strong and kind with yourself and others. When emotions come, you don't have to react right away. Emotional intelligence starts with a pause, and what you do after that pause makes all the difference. Try these five steps. 1. Pause. Give yourself space from the emotion. 2. Listen to yourself and others with an open mind. 3. Reflect. Ask why this happened and what it really means. 4. Think. Choose a response that helps both sides. 5. Speak. Not with emotion, but with understanding. The more you listen, the closer you get to the truth. Every moment is a crossroad, and you always have the power to choose how to respond. When you understand what emotions are, they no longer control you. You choose to respond with awareness, not react by habit. Every time you pause, breathe, and think before you speak, you are training your emotional intelligence. Start with one pause, right now.